Anyway, the following were also not coined by Murphy, but they are similarly cynical:
- Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
- A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
- He who laughs last thinks slowest.
- A day without sunshine is like, well it's night.
- Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
- Those that live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
- Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
- The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
- It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end-to-end, someone from California* would be stupid enough to try to pass them.
- If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.
- The things that come to those who wait, may be the things left by those who got there first.
- Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day, drinking beer.
- Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.
- God gave you toes as a device for finding furniture in the dark.
- When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.
*or any other neighboring state or country.
(Thanks to Uncle Richard for sending me these.)